When Your Child Anger Triggers You
| Meg K T
Anger is a strong displeasure usually brought about by an opposition. Anger in relation to children can be a result of an imaginary or a real opposition. As children, even the slightest thing ranging from cases of saying no to their request, imposing something on them etc. can make them angry.
This anger can be exhibited or manifested in different forms by children. It could be manifested as a feeling of being annoyed, upset or impatient because they can’t control or change a particular situation. It could also be manifested in some other kids as an irritability due to a situation beyond their control. In some other children, the fury which is an extreme uncontrollable anger can be exhibited by them. In this situation, the anger is more expressed in actions than in words. And some other children could go up the ladder by exhibiting rage, a very violent feeling without giving a second thought. Other symptoms of anger may include anxiety, confusion, violence, and irritability.
Most often, many parents make the mistake of dealing with their children anger from the negative side. This on the long run has some consequences on the children which would even bounce back on the parent if care is not taken. To avoid this, you should be able to take control of the situation, you should be able to calm yourself and calm the child as well when he/he get crank and throw his/her tantrums at you.
Today's article will provide you with some useful tip to turn that disaster moment to a happy moment for you and for the child.
Here are 5 useful tips to consider when handling your child anger;
1. Recognize the cause of the anger: This is the first thing you should put into action. In dealing with a problem, the easiest way is to start from the root. Most parents just assume that they know their children, but note that assumption is the mother of frustration. Many parents are found in the habit of blaming, insulting shouting and accusing their children without even getting to know them. Do not assume to know the cause of their anger but find out the cause. Because its until you know the source before you can give it the right approach. So as to avoid administering a headache tablet for a stomach pain.
2. Deal with the problem rather than taking it out on them: Many parents are often triggered by their children anger that they totally ignore the cause of that anger and then they start taking it all out on the child. NO, I shouldn’t be so. Learn to control your emotions. Never let them drive you because if they do, you would end up aggravating the matter rather than it subsidizing. For example, if an imposed work like asking him/her to go wash the dishes cause the child to get angry, rather than shouting at him/her and accusing him/her of being a lazy child, you can just deal with the problem by volunteering to assist the child in that work. You could offer to do the rinsing for some minutes while he washes the dishes. Thereafter, back off and encourage him to finish up the rest. By so doing you have calmly handled the situation.
3. Accept things the way they are, and not making a mountain out of a molehill; When your child gets angry at your instructions etc., you just have to accept the fact that the child is angry. They are human as well and they have feelings of which they tend to express. Do not go over heels with too many expectations from your child. Do not get trapped in the feeling of expecting your child to agree with you in all circumstances. Understand that your child has his own sense of reasoning which will often be at loggerheads with yours. But once you are able to understand and accept this fact, handling your child’s anger will be much easier for you.
4. Be very sensitive when taking actions: What often cause a rift between parent and their children during the anger moment is the insensitivity on the parent’s part. Some parents do not know the right time to take an action. Others do not know the right words to say or the right actions to take. Knowing the right thing to do and the right thing to say at the right moment has a way of turning that moment into a happy one. Parents should be sensitive to the need of their children at that point in time. Sometimes all the parent needs to do at that point in time is to say some words of commendation to the child for good efforts done in the past, or probably just a little gift or a little physical touch here or there. When you satisfy the need of that child at that period of time, you can successfully calm his anger and even yours without tampering with whatever problem that leads to the anger. And later on, after his/her anger has subsidized, then you can pick up the problem to deal with it.
5. Ask for guidance from a counselor; At some level of an uncontrollable anger being manifested regularly by your child, you need to seek for professional help for your child from a counselor or psychological therapist. It is important for you to be able to detect when your child anger is becoming uncontrollable and would be needing a professional help.
Take the bold step of seeking for one with your child. And you will help your child enjoy the healing process by being there for him/her when he/she needs you.